Valerie Molina
Professor Craig Panzer
WR121Q: WA #4 (Working Draft)
A Letter to a Friend
Dear Mel,
This letter is not in anyway meant to mimic confrontation or lessen the seriousness of the issue that has been haunting our circle of friends for months. This letter is also not meant as an attack on you personally—it is simply the best way for me to tell you how I feel about our living arrangements in the fall.
A few months ago, when we discussed living arrangements for our sophomore year, I assumed that everything would remain the same. I assumed that we would both remain extremely close, as we would continue to learn new things about each other on our walks to work and during our shopping trips. I was convinced that we were both similar people—with the same interests and opinions that would make us the best of friends. However, after months of overanalyzing situations that have made me uncomfortable or unhappy, I’ve finally realized that we aren’t the same people we thought we were when we moved to college. We have changed in many ways (some for the better and some worse) and I admit that this is the main reason why I have decided that we would not be a good fit at suitemates. This is not something we should be ashamed of because people change with the seasons or in this case, we have evolved and developed different interests and lifestyles. Our personalities have continued to develop and have made us grow apart. This kind of change also makes a person realize something that they never thought possible—that they can’t relate to a person as much as they thought they could. This is exactly what has occurred between us and I hope that you will understand that being blunt isn’t exactly something I enjoy, but rather something that I find necessary to fully explain my reasoning behind my big decision.
When we first met, you would often talk about how you wished to live in Piano Row. The modern feel and brand new atmosphere of the dorms made it an appealing choice for a dorm building. You even went as far as saying that you wanted to live in a Piano Row suite as soon as you were able to make your own living arrangements. You spoke about how you loved the privacy that a suite offers as supposed to the crowded, social atmosphere that our common room offered on our floor in The Little Building. This is why I don’t feel that we would be compatible in a suite together. I enjoy meeting new people as often as possible. I enjoy watching movies with a bunch of floor mates (whether I know them or not) in order to get to make new friends. In Piano Row, this wouldn’t happen. Although it’s appealing to the eye, the suites create a social barrier between students that prevents them from getting to know one another (outside of their rooms). The Little Building has more of a community, family feel, where students can bond in their common rooms and get to know one another while they watch a movie or hang out. The Little Building is also a convenient choice since the dining hall, and the gym are both located in the lower levels. Many have overlooked The Little Building’s convenience and appeal and this is precisely why I would like to remain living there.
This decision has been on my mind for a long time and I chose to ignore it until today because I was afraid that you would be hurt if I told you that I didn’t want to live with you in a suite. Yet, I know that this hurts you and you have every right to be upset since I never addressed the issue when I had the opportunity to. I also came to this decision after thinking about what I really need in order to live comfortably in an already stressful environment terrorized by schoolwork and drama. Originally, I thought that I’d like to live in a suite with the five girls I was closest to. However, after months of getting to know our friends, I came to the conclusion that I would be the happiest remaining in a double with Melissa. It’s difficult for me to trust people easily and it took me months to open up to Melissa. I haven’t opened up to you for this reason, because I don’t know if I can trust you completely. Not living together next year will give us the opportunity to get to know each other better. Since we both plan on studying abroad in The Netherlands next year, we could later choose to travel together and enjoy doing the things we like such as shopping and watching movies.
Therefore, living with Melissa in a double would make me the most comfortable since we both have different interests. The problems that I have faced stem from the differences in lifestyle we enjoy. For example, I enjoy going out every now and then. You have admitted that you don’t enjoy going to parties because you would rather stay in and watch a movie. This is completely understandable since it is something I really enjoy doing as well. However, I would like to do both every once in a while because I enjoy changing things up at the end of a long week. Getting out of the dorm to either check out a new restaurant or visit a few friends close by at another university is also fun. This is something you refrain from doing because you never want to spend any money on food or the T. This is something that I don’t think I am comfortable with long term since Melissa and I love exploring the Boston area as much as we can. When the three of us hangout, Melissa and I sometimes have to stay in because we’re afraid to hurt your feelings if we decide to explore off campus. Since we know you’re not interested we often won’t even include you in our plans. This not only saddens me but it has also made me feel guilty because we often can’t include you in our plans since we already know how you respond to our plans. This is another reason why I would find living with you difficult since there would constantly be a conflict of interest whenever we make plans as a group. I would like to avoid any issues by living in separate rooms where we can make our own plans accordingly.
Know that although I am admitting that I don’t plan on living with you next semester (along with four other girls), I still really want to hang out and keep our friendship. Excuse how blunt I’m being about this problem, but I am writing this in hopes that you see how much I thought about how I would tell you the truth. I know it might seem like it isn’t very difficult for me to tell you how I feel but it really has been tough for me to say the truth without considering your feelings. In fact, the reason I’ve tried to ignore this elephant in the room was to avoid any conflict at all, which I admit was a little cowardly. But I think you can relate since it is sometimes easier to avoid a mess instead of facing something head-on. This never makes anything easier or better, instead it makes matters worse. This is exactly why I chose to tell you the truth no matter how ugly or rude it might sound, because in the real world (after college), we will have to look people in the eye and speak the truth. Why not be honest now and avoid an even bigger problem?
So there I said it—I was blunt and honest (and hopeful) all in the same letter at the same time. I hope that although we won’t be living together next semester, you will still want to hang out. I don’t think that we should let something this silly ruin a friendship that is growing despite the bumpy road its on. They say you meet your life-long friends in college right? Why ruin it now?
Think about it and write back soon.
Sincerely,
Val
2. Lisa Rizzo
Peer Review 2
Writer: Valerie Molina
After reading Valerie’s letter and Ben’s peer review I feel that there is not too much new information that I can add. Ben idea of making the letter more concise is something that I was also thinking. The letter is a little repetitive when mentioning how Mel is different than Val and that they are not suitable roommates. I also got a little confused when Val spoke about the Netherlands. The letter led me to believe that a problem was that they wanted to live in different dorms in Boston. A little more explanation about the Netherlands can clear that up.
One more thing that I felt when reading this letter is that it is very strong. It definitely sounds like Val has made up her mind. Personally I feel that the tone comes across as harsh. When Val talks about how they change plans or do not invite Mel to places it seems very harsh as if Mel has done something wrong. In an attempt to preserve feelings try to lighten up the language.
02/24/09, 03:44 am
1. Benjamin Koonin
Ben Koonin
Descriptive outline
Paragraph 1: says: this letter is the best way to tell Mel how you feel regarding living arrangements in the future.
Does: opens the door for non threatening conversation.
Paragraph 2: says: at first you thought you guys were similar people but finally realized after some time that weren't.
Does: starts to get into why living together won't work, supports the previously stated claim.
Paragraph 3: says: Mel wants to live in Piano Row (private, modern) while you enjoy the Little Building because it's more social, less of a social barrier. Also Little Building is convenient as it is right above the dining hall.
Does: furthers the contrast between yourself and Mel (you want to live in different places because they offer something to you) which makes you less likely to both agree on a place to live together.
Paragraph 4: says: you describe how it is difficult for you to talk about this with her, and you recently came to the decision after thinking about it intently, and you'd prefer a double with Melissa. You also state that it's difficult for you to trust people easily and you don't know yet if you can trust her completely.
Does: again explains why it would be hard, and why you're not ready at this time to commit to living with Mel.
Paragraph 5: says: you describe the differences in the type of people that you and Mel are (you like to go out every now and then while she enjoys staying in and watching a movie.)
Does: Further provides evidence why you and Mel aren’t good for living with one another and I think begin to describe some of the most important reasons why this is so.
Paragraph 6: says: You explain how you still want to be friends, and that the reason you are telling her this now is that the truth may be hard to digest, but it’s the best way to handle this situation.
Does: Starts to close the letter, and looks into the future.
Paragraph 7 says: You explain that you think that your friendship should continue despite this.
Does: Concludes the letter on a good note.
Editorial Note
I think the purpose Valerie’s letter is to explain to one of her friends, Mel, that she doesn’t think that they should live together next year. She wants to lay out all of the reasons and rational in writing so that Mel can think about it, reread it, etc rather than confronting her. I think this is a great idea for the assignment, as I can see this letter really being written and getting something accomplished.
Valerie starts the letter with an introduction quickly starting to explain the purpose of the letter. She then goes into some of the history of their friendship: that Valerie thought they were very similar people but then realized they weren’t. Next, Valerie describes that it is difficult for her to trust people, and concludes with how she wants to continue to be friends despite this. I think this is a good approach to take because I find that the most important information is in the middle, and she starts off with a good introduction. The only thing I would recommend is that the letter may be able to be somewhat more concise. I’ve looked to find some big section that she can cut out to accomplish this, but I can’t find one. So maybe just going over the paragraphs and seeing if there’s anyway to make them all somewhat shorter; this would help to keep the letter moving along.
I think Valerie’s writing persona is excellent in the letter because it’s clear that she wants to handle the situation delicately yet still states firmly her feelings, and why she feels this way. She uses language that I think she would use while speaking to her friend and doesn’t come off as threatening or angry.
Research is used, I guess in the letter, through statements about Valerie’s personality as well as Mel’s. I don’t think any outside research is needed, as this would make it too formal and fake. I also can’t think of any research that would be appropriate.
The appeal to the audience, Mel, is also very good in the letter. As I said, Valerie uses appropriate language, as she is writing to her friend. Also as I’ve said, my only slight problem with the letter is that sometimes it seems to be redundant and too long. I don’t think this is a big problem since it’s a first draft, and all of the ideas and information is there to make a very polished final draft.
02/23/09, 09:55 pm